The aspects of dying with dignity and physically assisted death remain an emotional, controversial subject. Understanding why someone would choose physician-assisted death can be incredibly difficult for loved ones and those who grapple with the religious or morality of such a decision.
We hope to answer these questions and more if you know someone discussing this decision or wish to understand why it is available and why someone would choose it.
What is Death with Dignity or MaiD?
Medical assistance in dying (MaiD), or death with dignity, is when someone with a terminal illness requests a prescription for a lethal dose of medication, where a patient chooses when and where to end their life.
Death with dignity or MaiD should not be mistaken for euthanasia—where euthanasia generally means a physician acts directly, such as a lethal injection, to end a patient's life at the patient's request.
Dying with dignity or MaiD means that someone who is terminally ill can choose when, where, and how they die. This allows the patient to be in control, articulating their end-of-life decisions to their friends, family, loved ones, and healthcare professionals.
Death with dignity is governed by state legislation, and the process may differ from state to state.
Why is Dying With Dignity So Important to Terminal Patients?
With advanced disease comes the risk and fear of debilitating pain, suffering, and loss of autonomy at the end of life. Not only does dying with dignity allow them the right to choose to leave this earth when they are ready, but it also provides a means for a patient to save their beloved families from the steep costs of medical care, which can lead to financial ruin.
Choosing to die with dignity often brings terminal patients an immense sense of relief and control back into their lives, which frequently is lost as a disease progresses, and they must rely more and more on volunteers and medical professionals to do day-to-day tasks. It also provides a far more humane, peaceful, and dignified manner to pass on.
What Is the Motivation Behind Dying With Dignity?
According to the first citizens who drafted the Oregon Death With Dignity Act, this became a necessity as the dying process within the United States became more and more impersonal. They observed little communication between physicians and patients and, at times, little to no compassion for the dying person, with the dying patient's autonomy being taken from them.
For a terminal patient, the top motivating factors are:
- Loss of dignity
- Diminished ability to engage in enjoyable activities
- Lost autonomy
- The financial burden on the family
- Ability to regain control over their death, not letting the disease win.
And in some cases, patients who have obtained their medication never use it. Instead, just the presence of having it with them brings the terminal patient the strength and peace to face their death.
How Do You Support Someone Who Chooses This, Even if You Disagree?
For many of us, we do not want or feel ready to discuss end-of-life or death, especially when it comes to those we love. It can feel challenging to understand why a friend or loved one would ask for assisted death.
You may likely feel deeply uncomfortable hearing them talk about death and dying, as many of us prefer not to speak on such topics. However, you may find yourself, in time, oddly comforted as you continue to talk to a loved one and learn that they have the power to choose their time and place of dying and that their suffering may soon be over. The opportunity to say goodbye while they are fully awake and aware may also help you prepare for the grief you will no doubt feel when they pass.
You do not have to agree with their decision, but you must remember that your friend, loved one, or family member has the right to decide what happens to them, their body, and their quality of life.
The best way you can support a friend, loved one, or family member in their decision, even if you do not or cannot agree, is by asking them how you can help. You can help in various ways, from providing practical assistance to keeping the home clean while they decide their date and time, to doing laundry, cooking meals, gardening, or driving them to and from doctor visits.
We understand how hard this decision can be for the dying and those left behind. There are resources to support you while your loved one or friend is thinking about or going through the voluntary assisted dying process. Do not hesitate to reach out to support groups, a therapist, or, if you are caring for the person who is choosing to die with dignity, their doctor for medical assistance and care to help you if you need a break