One day, the unthinkable happens. You wake up, and your home or your space feels too quiet. Then you may see it, the water and food bowls, the empty pet beds or cages, and it may hit you all over again and hard: they're gone. Your beloved pet and companion are no longer with you, and the overwhelming sensations of mourning can take your breath away.
A few things, such as grief, are challenging to describe, feel, and try to deal with. How heavy it is and can be and how it affects our lives are not the same. When a beloved pet dies, we grieve a presence that has granted us comfort, silliness, joy, warmth, and company over the years, and when they are gone, we actively miss them. Showing this mourning by actively expressing it can help you move along on the journey of healing—but it can feel right now, in this moment, like you may never recover.
If you are here seeking help, know that we hear you, and we will share what we can to help ease this heartbreak.
What Do I Do?
The first thing you should know is that your grief will not follow a set of steps or stages, no matter what some say. You may experience emotions in any order; you may find yourself perfectly fine for a day, a few days, or even a week before a sound, word, photo, or memory comes along, and you feel adrift again. And all of this—as hard as it is right now—is perfectly normal.
No matter what anyone says, remember there is no timeline to your grieving either. Whether it takes days, weeks, months, or years to heal, you are doing the right thing for you as long as you keep trying.
While mourning, remember to try to:
- Acknowledge the full but heartbreaking reality that your pet is gone, which may take a long time. It can take days, weeks, months, or even years for some of us, and that time will be right for you.
- Try not to ignore or shy away from the pain. No one wants to feel like this, which all of us can agree. But not experiencing these emotions following the death of a pet can make your healing journey even more difficult. A healthier aspect of mourning is taking the time to experience and feel these deep emotions rather than pushing them away or ignoring them.
- Your memories are your eternal connection. The memories, photos, and perhaps things like collars, toys, and pet beds may seem like painful reminders at first, yet they are all things that also allow your pet's memories to live on through you. Embrace the memories, both joyful and painful. Take the time to look at the photos, write a tribute to your pet, whether in a personal journal or digital journal, and write a letter to your pet recalling your time together and how much you miss them. Whatever you choose, your memories and recollections can help keep your pet's presence with you; many find that comforting.
- Accept support from others. No one is truly ever alone. When deep in mourning, it can be difficult to believe that anyone understands or that they will care. Remember that when deep in these feelings of loss, sometimes the outlook becomes eschewed. Reach out to friends, family, or a support group in need. No one ever ""gets over""grief. It comes and goes, with the emotions becoming more manageable as time passes. Talking with other pet owners and people who have experienced the same things you have is an essential step toward healing.
At this moment, it can feel all too much. The deafening silence in the absence of toys being played with, collars with bells jingling, and the empty spaces where you expect them to be—remember that it is okay to be awash in emotions right now. Feel them, mourn your companions, and know your grief is not greater or lesser than anyone else's, as it cannot be ranked. Take comfort in knowing you were loved; you loved your pet immensely, and do not hesitate to reach out to others.
Your brain may wish to try to replay your last moments with your beloved pet—it's a typical experience, especially if it was a difficult goodbye. Instead, try to focus on the joy and life you shared. Find your favorite memories, photos, or videos and try and focus on them while working through emotions. Remember that you did everything you could and then some: your pet's pain has passed, and now it is time for you to focus on and lovingly take care of your pain, perhaps just as your pet companion would wish for you.
You are never as alone as you think. We hope that you have been able to find some comfort and solace with us. Should you like, we provide several beautiful memorial and cremation jewelry options to help those like you in mourning. Please do not hesitate to contact us with any questions you may have.